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Battleground of beauty
A friend emailed me a photo of her a couple days post-cosmetic surgery and laser resurfacing. Her closed eyes, sores, bruises, bandages, and covered-up hair create, for me, an unidentifiable person. In the text her tone is characteristically spirited and full of humor, as she tells me that the photo was taken before she could open her eyes and that she doesn’t look much different 3 days later. She notes happily that her partner, who presumably took the picture and maybe wrote the email, kissed her. Yay, him! Whose spirit and humor complement hers.
My friend in the photo is the only close friend of mine to undergo selective cosmetic surgery, and we talked a lot about her doing it throughout the process, from her wanting the procedures to her questioning her rationale to her first consultation with the surgeon to her pre- and post-operative medications to her feelings in the late afternoon before the morning when she would enter the hospital. My friend and I were born the same year. She is deeply intelligent and thoughtful, independent, and self-accepting, and as she became clear about proceeding with the surgery, I encouraged her to go ahead with it.
“Your body is a battleground” blazes in red type from one of the artist Barbara Kruger’s most famous pieces, a poster designed for NOW’s April, 1989 march in Washington on behalf of women’s reproductive rights. The words keep ringing true in regard to a woman’s choices regarding her body, from its reproductive capacity to its appearance. Battleground–the word upends any notion of comfort in one’s body.
We feel good when grounded in our bodies, we feel sure of ourselves. When the body is a ground of battle, that condition ungrounds a human being. Some may say that facelifts, fillers, implants, and lasers also unground a human being, for they toy with the changing or given nature of the body. Yet, the use of items in the above list also creates change. Either way, change is of the essence.
My friend called her skin crepey, she severely critiqued the double chins she was seeing. Her lids began to droop more and more, she said, so that she felt tired trying to keep her eyes open. Her body changed, so she has changed it. For comfort, for attractiveness, for peace.
- January 10, 2010
- Filed under: Beauty, Body and mind
- Comments 1
I thought about this post today, reading a terrific interview with Susan Sarandon in -The Guardian-: http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/jan/17/susan-sarandon-the-lovely-bones
Here’s my favorite quote, in reference to how she looks so fabulous: “Laughing does a lot for the face. Do the things you enjoy. Surround yourself with good people. Denying yourself is not good for the face. You can’t be a bitter, angry person. Hatred is unsexy and not great for your skin.”
I think, no matter what age, we should all take “Hatred is unsexy” as our mantra!