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Kissing him
You’re eating a meal with someone and he mentions a delicious taste from the food in his mouth. You want to share that taste with him. You want to kiss him, deeply.
Imagine the beginning of the same scenario, through the first sentence of the above paragraph. Then . . . rather than wanting to share and kiss, you feel repulsed. Lips, tongue, teeth, palate–what could be worse?
I’ve experienced such attractions mostly with men and such repulsions with both women and men. I felt those kinds of repulsions in my younger years, but I suppressed them much better than I now can. I did my best to stay unaware of them. People feel without awareness all the time. In effect, they feel without feeling. That causes confusion, unhappiness, misreading of others, and a loss of clarity, clear sight, and intuition. In that state, people’s actions bring unhappiness to both themselves and others. If you don’t know how you feel–and feeling requires awareness of one’s body–your thinking cannot save you.
At a restaurant meal people often seem to expect their companions to share food. Most of the time I don’t like mixing other flavors with the ones I’ve ordered, and I’ve thought that when I give that reason for not sharing, some people are offended because they imagine that I’m ill-disposed to their saliva. That has been the case during some meals, when the repulsion response has been activated, not by other persons exactly, but rather by an incongruity or dissonance between my senses and theirs.
The minimal sharing of the least private bodily fluid, saliva, plays a bit part in an extensive sensory and sensual repulsion, in which imagining the touch and taste of tongues, the scent on lips, the smell of breath (in the mouth and from deep in the belly), and their foundational undercurrent beneath the visual and aural actuality of the person in front of me who wants to share–not simply food, but the pleasures of the senses–array themselves in order to concentrate the truth of the sixth sense, which is intuition. When I’m feeling repulsion, the sixth sense says, Leave it alone. It being 1) the food, 2) the other person’s desire for an intensified connection (which probably seems utterly mundane and unworthy of note to most people), and 3) more socializing with the other person.
You may wonder, Why is she eating/socializing in the “company” of dissonance? I’ve wondered too, because the kind of clarity that I spoke about earlier has been growing within me. It comes from change and it leads to change, and following the sixth sense feels great!
An out of town friend was a recent house guest. She’s stayed at my home many times. She uses the guest bathroom and I use the master bathroom. The hot water wasn’t working in the guest bathroom shower, so she was getting ready to use the shower in the master bathroom, and while doing so she said, “Your funk is okay with me!” My response: “Your funk is okay with me!” Obviously this is someone I’d dig into a dessert with!
At a restaurant a man and I both ordered a Greek salad with salmon. Later, we kissed. The first time. The mildest taste of salmon . . . lingered in his mouth, lingers in my sixth sense.
- December 26, 2009
- Filed under: Body and mind, Love
- Comments 2
Perhaps we all have vapors, halos, and auras. Maybe they make smell and taste much more dominant. The funk stuff here is funny!
One person’s funk is another person’s fancy.
Delicious post!