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Intimacy

Intimacy can be defined as erotic. The erotic can be defined as connection, a loving connection. Do I connect with a man’s body? Is there chemistry between us? Chemistry bonds me to a lover. Chemistry, for me, comes from and generates deep, kindred emotion and a mysterious understanding of another person. I mention chemistry with a man, a lover, and we also can feel chemistry with friends, with strangers we see on the street, with a wonderful class that we’re teaching. Chemistry charges relationships with beauty and fascination. Chemistry is different from lust. Lust may likely not create intimacy.

Intimacy can also be defined as familiarity: I am very familiar with my body; I am familiar with a lover’s body. Many people are not very familiar with their own bodies, even though they say, “I know my own body.” They may know it, but they don’t listen to it. They don’t pay attention to its guidance. Intimacy is a knowing that encompasses feeling, listening, touching, tasting, smelling, and looking lovingly. I mean these literally and figuratively. I know the way to the grocery store in my car, but that’s a different kind of knowing.

• October 10, 2009
• Filed under: Love, Men and women
• Comments 0